Monday, March 30, 2009


So, I think I hate the ASPCA. Those god damn Sarah McLaughlin commercials make me want to cry every time I watch them. Watching those sad dingos and pussies is not something I want to see. Of course when i see those commercials I call Lilly into sit with me. Usually the commercials come on when she wants to be left alone -- and of course, I have none of that.

I track her down and make her come sit with me to make me feel better about not helping this little animals. Believe me, I don't want 52 cats running around my house and I can't have a dog -- I'm too lazy to take it for walks and I'll be god damned if I ever pick up animal feces. I just can't believe people are so crazy they would just abandon an animal -- take it to a shelter or better yet -- keep the animal and love it. They love you.

I had a friend from a previous place of employment who had a cat who started to have bladder problems -- he'd start peeing all over the place. Then this girl got a new boyfriend and started spending lots of time away from home. The cat's behavior got worse. The house began to stink so bad, the landlords came in and shampooed the carpets (how gross must that have been????). So instead of telling the new BF that she would like to spend more time at her house, she decided to take the cat to the vet -- not to figure out why he's urinating so much, but instead she had the cat put down. It makes me so mad that people out there are so selfish.

Granted -- I've had Lilly since 2003 and have not taken her to the vet once, but I would never do anything to hurt her.

Here is the commercial for your viewing displeasure. This isn't the specific commercial I saw, this one is Canadian -- and is worse than the one I saw.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

FUCK me twice!

I think my stalker from college just walked in to Rose City Cafe. I hope it isn't her... I've ignored her for years on friendster, myspace and facebook.

She's probably on my flight! She is a fucking day nut. Ugh. If this is my last post, please tell the authorities it was her!

This is totally the intro to a Lifetime movie. If Mark Harmon and Judith Light/ Meredith Baxter were here I would cry!

Returning to Chicago

I am in a taxi returning to PDX. JB (of JB and JLPB) picked me up on Thursday night. Things like that really make me happy. I know it is a total pain in the ass, but it is nice to have someone pick you up at the airport. We had airport sushi, then a quick ride home.

I had an old box of Star Wars toys, not original, but the ones that came out when the first there movies were re-released. I had this crazy idea that I could make a million dollars off these toys. Unfortunately, almost everyone who bought these toys had the same idea as I did. 12 years later and they are selling for half the retail price on eBay. I did get a great return on investment though. The picture of JBs kid with the toys was priceless.

Heading back to the airport now. It has taken 70 minutes to go from Mac to Tigard. What a mess. My flight is at 140, so I will have plenty of time for sushi and a beer.
Evidently there is a blizzard in Chicago today. Sometimes I just hate spring.

Tomorrow I have a lunch with my Senior Vice President (my boss) and my Executive Vice President (boss of my boss). Not sure what this is all about. It isn't part of a regularly scheduled meeting. Just out of the blue. I'm not getting fired, I just had a fantastic review, plus bonuses were paid out earlier this month. If they were going to fire people they wouldn't pay out a bonus!

There are some things going on outside of work that I won't talk about until things are finalized, but it is hugely dramatic... Life changing... Well maybe not that dramatic. It will change the way I live, but its not like I am getting married, having a kiddo, or getting my foot chopped off. I hope to write about it later this week.

Since I know you are all one edge of your seat about my travel plans, I did get the upgrade today.

My Uncle Duane was over yesterday. He was asking about my travel plans and if I liked to travel. He then entertained is with stories of his dinners out for business. He and I see very different people. If the world was full of Tims I think we'd all kill ourselves. Let's just say I would not enjoy traveling/entertaining with my uncle.

Barring pilot error or metal fatigue I will be home in 8 hours. Ugh.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


I am off to PDX again tonight. I figure this will be one of my last family trips to Oregon. I continued my tradition of watching a plane crash movie before departure...completely unintended this time.

LB and I went to see The Knowing. It wasn't all that terrible of a film, I just wish Nicholas Cage would take the marbles out of his mouth when he is "acting". Anyway there is a very unique perspective of a plane crash at Logan (BOS). I wouldn't say it was disturbing but it was brought to a whole new level.

Anyway, JB is picking me up at the airport tonight. I am afraid my flight will be delayed and picking me up will be an outrageously annoying undertaking for him. I always hate putting people out.

I am leaving on the same flight I did in February, but instead of leaving the office at 4pm for a 545 departure, I think I will leave about 330, I don't like to get to the airport early, but I really don't like to run through the terminals either.

I am sure I will torture everyone with travel updates tonight as I am bored on the plane.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Last Day in San Diego

I am standing in the gate area at San Diego airport. United isn't a big player here, so there isn't a lot of space. My flight leaves at 1337, flights to Denver, San Francisco, Dulles and Chicago all leave within 30 minutes of each other. This place is a mad house.

I left my hotel at 1210, and was through security and at my hate by 1230, not too bad, but that just means I have to spend time crowded around a smelly trash can until we can board.

This conference was good, but the attendees were so unique. Like Babe, pig in the City. It was like these people have never seen an open bar before. This was a very funny sight for me. These three yokels from Harrisburg PA were the epitome of class. They were from the Association of County Commissioners of Pennsylvania...sounds almost as glamorous as my firm. One of the women had what I call Wal-Mart hair... You know, big Jersey claw bangs and spiral curls in the back. The front has half a can of hair spray holding it in place, while the back has about 2 full handfuls of extra crunchy gel to hold the "curl". On the plus side she smelled like an ashtray.

Her colleague chose not to wear a bra the second also seems like she forgot her spanx too. There was a whole lot of jiggling going on. It was almost hypnotic, if it hadn't been vomit inducing.

The final person in this Harrisburg Triad of the Damned was a big mo. He was far from attractive and evidently they don't have mirrors OR self respect in the capital of the Keystone State. He was drinking raspberry mojitos, which actually sound pretty good to me. He had a few too many and decided to find other gay men in the room and call them his bois. I assume this is how he would spell it. He was dissatisfied that all the gays didn't follow suit and join his silly entourage. I left early that night. After I left I heard that he went up to an attractive straight guy and tried to persuade him to switch teams and join him in the wash room. A friend who works for the company putting on the conference had to strong arm him and remind him he should be professional. While being called on the carpet he decided to start touching the guy who was telling him to shape up. Come on! What a mess.

All in all it was a good trip to San Diego. I don't want to leave, but I must get back to reality.

JDE comes in Friday morning for the CAF Gala. We always have a great time. I think this trip will be less extreme as I think we are both keen on not spending a ton of cash. Also, I need to find a way to drop some belly fat before the gala, if not I think I might have to either wear a kilt or just go sans pants. Which would you choose?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


A colleague of mine JO, brought his wife and kids to this conference. I don't spend much time around kids. The most recent child I spent time with hated me for several hours. Then she seemed to start to dig me.

These kids, who I've spent 2 separate and distinct times with, are 4 and 5 years old. I find it hard to know how to act. Let's face it, I'm not a G Rated guy. I usually roll at least an R rating, easily slipping into an NC-17 or quickly to a XXX. That's who I am and I am ok with it.

Spending time with these kids near by I try to watch my language, but my clever puns and witty remarks (not to mention my scorching case of modesty) can't be stopped. Things I said caused the mother to turn to me and "SUSH" me. The kiddos didn't know anything was up until mommy says "SUSH". Come on, do 4 and 5 year olds know what a donkey show in tiajuana is all about? I didn't know until about 15 months ago. I know kids are smarter now a days, but if they know about it, why can't I talk about it?


So this Risk Management and IT conference is actually pretty good. The best part is the face time with the decision makers from the IT company. Yesterday was a very long day. I was up working at 0600, at the conference by 0730, finished with meetings at 1800, went to dinner at 1830 then headed back to the hotel after the cocktail reception around 2215.

Started today at 0630 again. Although the break out sessions weren't all that helpful, but I did get to think about alternative ways to get our IT issues fixed. So all in all not too shabby.

Tonight is a closing reception. It's pretty sad when I am the coolest guy in the room. Ugh.

My plans for tonight include getting a green beer, and going to bed.

My flight tomorrow is at 1337, so I have plenty of time to work and maybe go shopping. Any place with sales tax less than 10.25% seems like a big sale to me.

Right now I am sitting outside at the marina drinking a pina colada with a dark rum floater (thanks EAD and JFB for breaking me of my loathing of coconut drinks). San Diego is so fucking beautiful. I think I could easily move here and never regret it for a moment. Fuck 4 seasons.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

San Diego - Day 1

People I travel with often say I don't like anything. That is far from the truth, I just have exacting standards. In my job, I provide exceptional service (just look at my performance review from Friday). I expect this from the people I deal with, both on a personal and a professional basis.

I am staying at the Marriott Hotel & Marina. I have stayed here once before, and really like it. I got a nice bay/harbor/pool view room, with a balcony. I was feeling a bit under the weather last night, so I decided to have a quiet evening at "home". I went to dinner at a restaurant on property, called Roy's. There is one in Chicago, but I haven't been there in years. Dinner was good. The service was exceptional.

When eating alone service can be hit or miss. They were great.

Today I got up at 730 local, and watched the news, finalized one project for work and had a great breakfast of chicken quesadillas and coronas. Nothing says the Ides of March like Mexican food, eh?

I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting on my balcony listening to the water, watching the boats and enjoying coronas. Which is strange, because normally I don't like coronas.

For lunch I had lime chips and mango salsa. All in all a good day.

My conference starts tomorrow at 730am, so it will be a quiet night tonight too.

I am here with two colleagues. One I travel with regularly, the other has never traveled with our company, although he has traveled extensively for his previous employer. Will be interesting to see how it turns out.

I am so excited for spring, the weather here is just fantastico. I just wish it were 10 degrees warmer. Can't have everything, can we?

Saturday, March 14, 2009

San Diego, here I come

I went out last night. Had sushi, some wine, some beer and a tequila shot. Odd combo, I know. The sushi was good. The wine was fine and the beer/tequila was silly.

I got up and packed this morning...god only knows what I will find in my suitcase when I get to San Diego. I thought I was running later than I was, so I took the cab all the way to ord. Now I am here, waiting. My flight leaves in an hour, I've been here for 30 minutes already. Torture.

My plans for SAN today: check into the hotel, unpack, get a hair cut, explore the city, or coronado island, might do sushi again for dinner too.

I forgot my sun glasses at home too. I am thinking about buying these glasses... Let me know your thoughts.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

March Madness

No, I am not going to write about college basketball. I am going to write about how forgetful I am this time of year. I forget things like how much the weather can fluctuate.

It is snowing again today. Its not snowing a lot. It won't stick or accumulate but I am still disappointed when I left the dry cleaners this morning and saw flakes whipping around outside.

Like yesterday my bus is packed. Unlike yesterday LSD is moving extremely well.

I was out with some friends last night. We went to Martini Park. We were all MP virgins. After having two Goose Ups I didn't have a buzz, it was like I was drinking water. Expensive water. We had a good time, it was the first time our whole group had been together in about 7 months. One member of our little sextet was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. She immediately went in to a double mascectomy. She's had her post surgery boob job, pretty nice nuovo rack, I must admit. Of course I did tell her that too. She was just told she is no cancer free. this just goes to show, like my dads case, early detection, early cure. No excuses people.

I am on the bus writing this and some donkey keeps reading my blog in progress, so I must sign off.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Traffic and "Break Up"

A friend from Alaska talks about "Break up" from time to time. As I understand it, it is this time in spring when the frozen wasteland starts to thaw -- the ice breaks up.

In Chicago we have the same sort of thing. Each spring when we start to emerge from our deep freeze, when the days are getting longer and the wind doesn't take your breath away, we have our own break up.

Over the past two years we've had pretty tough winters here: lots of snow, extended periods of wind chills well below zero, etc. Last year with the constant freezing and thawing our roads were pretty beaten up. Throughout the summer I didn't see much activity on repairing the damage-- remember I don't drive here so unless my bus guys a pot hole, I probably won't know...and my daily commute doesn't deviate too much, so I could just be seeing the same big ass pot hole each day.

Since these big holes weren't fixed last year, the just grew more this year.

Over the past 5 days we've had torrential rains and flooding. Of course this doesn't help the braking up of the roadways. With the big rains over the weekend the sewers were overflowing, which caused more break up.

I love my commute. Usually it takes 20 minutes door to door, which gives me enough time to read the morning headlines, blog or catch up on emails. I left early today. I was out my front door by 755, which is very early for me. It is now 911 as I writer this, and I am about half way to work. I am on a packed bus, with a seat, so it could be worse...but am going stir crazy. For some reason I can't get mobile web or email access this morning, so I feel very disconnected, and bored.

I need a vacation.

Speaking of vacations. I am off to a conference in San Diego on Saturday. The conference starts 730 Monday morning, but I am going out a day early for a mini vacation. I love San Diego. The weather will be warm, and sunny. Just what I need.

I am returning on Wednesday night. JDE is coming in Friday morning for the Gala weekend. That is always a great time, I can't wait. Let's hope the weather clears up.